Stop the presses

Johnnie stood in his garden and tried to see the hills. The fog was up, making the western boundary a towering dark smear in a light grey wall. Between him and the hills were a hell of a lot of other buildings, but his family’s place was taller than most and the hulking view from the rooftop garden was good—in better weather.

Ignoring the misting damp, Johnnie sat, straddling a bench. Though the garden was food-producing enough to justify their solar voucher, it was mostly ornamental. Greenery swarmed in arbours and grottoes, sheltering tables and benches that filled on warmer days.

With the view from the roof, the luxury of the solar inside and privacy for both, the Tip-Top Teahouse wooed customers and did brisk business. Johnnie’s grandfather had seen the need for pleasure spots even in the Five Cities’ infancy, beating most of his competitors to the punch by half a decade. When his daughter took over she refined the business, getting her fingers in the spreading trade.

Unlike most of the buildings in their nook of the Hound, Tip-Top, now technically a hostel and café, used all their floors; each themed and designed for different purposes and clientèle. Though, of course, each served tea.
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There were more than a thousand gardens, of course.  The place that became the Five Cities was built on the skeleton of a forest and haunted by its fecund past.  It was lush with a flamboyant excess of greenspace, laid out and continually added to in an attempt to appease the leafy fates.  But such stately verdance was proved a pale shade once dame nature had room to stretch.

The Five Cities gave her that, tearing up asphalt to get to the dirt, handing out flyers about rooftop gardens, letting the ivy and the blackberries have their way with public structures.  People who planned gardens were more likely to get solars, oil and meat, which was enough to encourage those who were not inclined to community work.

Taking an already existing system of shame for selfish actions, the Five Cities aimed it precisely.  It wasn’t the whole earth they cared about now, just 100-odd square miles.  With bribes, requests and guilt, they got their people to let nature have her head.

In hearsay, the Five Cities looked like an eden.  A lower population and a retreat from industrialism, combined with enforced community effort, made it true.  Where cars had parked, groves now grew.  Manicured grass was consumed by clover.  Decorative trees cracked sidewalks and turned streets to shady groves. It was as if the place had been waiting all this time, shoots coiled and ready to spring.

And so a place that had been where most people ended up anyway became a sought-after destination.  Some used it as a jumping board to the north or to the ocean; others were captured in its green snare.

(If you don’t know, I’m playing along at home with season 7 of Project Runway. Blog here.)

(I also sometimes blog at I Like Socks)

So, I ordered from Bliss Soaps during their big sale this winter, and it took forever to get here, etc.  Now, because I use the soap I got regularly, and have an object-cued memory, I remember the crap customer service I got whenever I shower.  But, because it is during my shower, I never remember outside the curtain, since shower time is also time for imagining how poised one would be during magazine interviews and whatnot.

But! Finally remembered.  Here is the email I sent after receiving my order.

Hi,

As I also work for an thriving online business, I understand how difficult it can be when unexpectedly slammed with orders and the problems with balancing customer service, quality and not going crazy.  However, I was pretty disappointed overall with my recent Bliss Soap experience.

The word I’ve heard is that you all were overwhelmed with responses to your recent sale, which is wonderful in a way, as I realise how finacialy boned you were after dealing with that large client order that didn’t pay.   This made me give some leniency to the surprising distance in time between seeing my order go from processed to shipped.  I will admit to becoming rather worried, then annoyed, as the time after my order was marked “shipped” (I first noticed it November 17th) stretched to a week, then two weeks.  As I’m in Portland, just south of Seattle, a straight shot mailing-wise, I expected the order to arrive much more quickly, especially as it you ship flat-rate priority.

It wasn’t until hunting around on your main site, that I found the small link and notice to the delay in shipping that could take about two weeks.  I’d been keeping an eye on your actual store site (http://stores.blisssoap.com), as not only was that where I ordered and expected online store related updates to be posted, but the basic backend of that site design is clearly more easy to update with important notices than the graphics-heavy, crowded “About Us” and brick-and-mortar info page that is http://www.blisssoap.com/.  Though my order was listed as “shipped” by November 17, the shipping label was printed (or dated) November 25, I’m just going to note that I think I would have been happier overall to have not seen my order marked as “Shipped” until it actually was.

However, I did get my order, yesterday, November 30.  I was bummed to open the mailer and see the Styrofoam container one item came in jammed and broken and open (luckily all soap arrived whole!), the receipt completely crumpled.  Whatever, it’s soap.  I have attached an image of one item, as I’m not sure if it is in fact the Tea Tree Shampoo Bar I ordered or something else.  There was, after some searching in the corners of the mailer, a paper slip that explained how to use a solid shampoo bar, so I’m guessing this is the right item?  Unlike the other soap, which was very nicely labelled and wrapped (though none of the bars were dated, how long before they’re off date?) this is the one that had broken free of its container, which wasn’t labelled anyway.

So, I don’t think I’ll order from you guys online again, but I do want to visit your storefront sometime, as I am happy with the products I got, I just don’t want to deal with the way you handle your online business.

There was also an attached picture of the soap in question.  This is the email I got back:

B. Zedan,

I am [redacted], Phils partner in Bliss-Soaps.  I’m over the production and shipping dept.  I take care of 95% of the shipping orders for our company.  When I send packages to our customers, I can assure you that I give the utmost care and concern that the order I’m dealing with each time is checked off, wrapped properly, packaged securely, and I send with the product a note telling the customer how appreciative I am for their support and love of our product.  No matter what I read, I care more than the majority about the customer and their experiences with our product and customer service. I will defend this whether it be the wrong or right thing to do in the seller & buyer relationship, or if it sounds like I’m to sensitive and overreacting.  It is the way I feel and I only know how to be honest with my customers and anyone I come in contact with. We all have different personalities and this is mine. It just is how it is with me and this is a good thing in my life.\
I am extremely impressed with your thorough and very well explicit and direct comments on your experience with us. I am very saddened by what I read.  This is in no way exceptable to me and I am not happy about it.  I would like to ask if you could please try to find time out of your busy schedule and call me to discuss this further.  My cell number is [redacted].  If you would rather e-mail a phone number where I may reach you so that the phone call isnt at your expense, that probably be better.  I am extremely concerned with what I have read and I will get down to the bottlom of this and correct those areas which you have indicated right away. This is unacceptable to me and you didn’t need compounding issues on top of the length of time it took to get your order.  I would rather explain to you my feelings actually with you on the phone.  If you feel this is acceptable to you, then I will be anxiously waiting on your phone call or e-mail with a contact number.
I do sincerely appreciate your honest straight & forward critiqueing and the professionalism it radiates.  I also feel concern and desire for the growth of Bliss-Soaps.
I know we will be able to recify this issue, besides learning & growing from this unfortunate situation.
Thanks so much for your e-mail.  I really hope to hear from you.

Now, my questions were answered regarding the off dates for the soap and if that was the shampoo bar were not answered.  I’ve got a paranoia about phones and strangers, and combined with the 12+ hours I was away from home, working longer days during holiday rush, there was no way I was going to call this guy.  Also? My phone number is accessible from my customer account on their site.  So my response, sent on the 6th of December:

Hi,

I apologise for the delay in reply, the rush of the holiday season has me either at work or commuting to it for most of the day.

I am much easier to get ahold of my email, if you have any further questions or an answer to my query if the soap I attached a picture of is the Tea Tree Shampoo Bar, please let me know.

And, a little over a month later, nothing back.

As far as the soap goes, I love, LOVE the smell of “Dragon’s Blood”.  And Chase is digging the soap with silk in that I got him.  The unknown soap that may be a shampoo bar has not been tried yet.  Both of us are disappointed with the body of the soaps, they’re very soft and have worn out quickly, sometimes dropping clumps off while scrubbing, like rotting zombies.  While we’ve been using the Bliss Soaps a bar of our regular stuff from FG Soap has been sitting next to them, getting just as much showerhead run-off and not shrinking.

So, overall a lame experience, but it fired up our love of fancy soaps, so I’ll be looking to Vilainess next.